As you know, life does not stand still – time goes on, and children who have recently been babies become adults and begin to live on their own. And this circumstances, like any other, have two sides. Of course, parents are pleased to realize that their children have already become on their feet and can live separately, but, on the other hand, it is difficult for parents to get used to the fact that children do not live in their home. They begin to worry about this, to feel their uselessness in this life. It is especially difficult for women who devoted their whole lives to their children so quickly grown up.
Syndrome « empty nest&Raquo;
Psychologists call this state of mothers “an empty nest syndrome”. Of course, you can understand the experiences of a woman-mother at such a difficult time, but with this, as experts say, it is necessary to learn to cope. Otherwise, such a mother can not stop even at this time by guardianship to spoil the life of her child. What needs to be done if you are also experiencing a similar situation at the moment? Let’s talk about this in more detail.
First of all, you need to understand that the time when you were an unquestioned authority for your child or your children have long passed. And there is no need to try to return it – you will only experience disappointment from the fact that you did not succeed.
Typically, the first conversations that the child will soon live separately from parents begin shortly before the end of her secondary school. It was then that yesterday’s schoolboy enters the university, which is sometimes quite far from the house. And this parents should not be very afraid. Of course, at first your offspring, which is not yet too strong in solving household issues, will have to be difficult, but then it will get used to solving them without your participation. It is possible that at first it will hurt you, but you need to come to terms with this. Remember that the less you will patronize your son or daughter, the faster he will become independent. And this, of course, all parents want for their children.
Syndrome « empty nest&Raquo;
Further, one of the difficult periods that exacerbate the “empty nest syndrome” may be the time when your heir ends his studies at the university. It’s good if he remains to work in the city in which he studied – in this case, the exacerbation will not happen. Worse, if the graduate decides to return to his hometown and wants to settle in his home again – in this case, wise parents should make them understand that the period of his residence with his parents should not be delayed this time. This can be motivated by several reasons – we can say that you have already experienced parting with your son or daughter once, and it will be much more difficult for you to worry the second time to you. Therefore, the optimal way out of this position may be the option of living your offspring near you, parents. For example, you can live in neighboring houses, which will allow you to often see your grown son or daughter.
Sometimes, in order to facilitate the “empty nest syndrome”, some relatively young parents who have not yet lost their ability to detect, make a rather bold decision at this age and give birth to another child. Of course, new concerns and troubles for the care of newborn do not allow them to go into strong experiences about adult children. And this is a big plus of such an act. But there are also their disadvantages, which the middle -aged parents must foresee in advance. And sometimes there may be much more. The solid age, unfortunately, is not always accompanied by good health – and this may be the first serious test when the baby is born. After all, caring for a child and sleepless nights associated with this requires parents and, especially, from a mother, excellent health. Do not forget about this either.
Syndrome « empty nest&Raquo;
Of course, there are times when the “empty nest syndrome” is experienced by parents very painfully – so that they simply are not able to cope with it on their own.
Especially if this period is accompanied by a depressive state and inevitable health problems in depression. In this case, it is undesirable to wait for everything to pass by itself or self -medication – it will be better if you do not waste time and seek help from a specialist.